One day I had to lie on the floor to reach something that fell under the couch and after I retrieved the item I just. Stayed there. For like half an hour
Felt great
i need to clip through the floor like bethesda made me
yes. even more so.
It’s because while life isn’t supposed to let you down, gravity always will.
i’m not kidding and i’m not being mean i’m watching these videos of people trying to cut like, carrots, and they’re using butcher knives, and i just… I cook a lot and I don’t own a butcher knife, I’ve never had one, I’ve never needed one. I don’t cleave through… bone like. please
paring knife: it’s good for small cuts. deseeding a jalapeno, cutting up strawberries.
utility knife: allegedly these make cutting tomatoes easier. i don’t actually find cutting tomatoes difficult, so i don’t know. i use it mostly for trimming meat.
santoku knife: this is essentially a chef’s knife with a straight blade. it’s good for veggies.
chef’s knife: i use a chef’s knife for almost everything. it can chop a head of romaine and it can cut a chicken breast in half. whatever. just don’t use it for tiny shit.
slicing knife: good for slicing cooked meats
bread knife: bread
it’s also gay.
and here’s a cutting board with a knife sharpener. keeping your knives sharp is a good idea because cuts from dull knives are harder to treat, are more likely to get infected, and are more painful over time. cuts happen but you can reduce your risks
Who wants to get me some knives?
Gay knives save lives
if ur gonna do it wrong, might as well just
Oh you are so blocked right now
Honestly though, most people don’t need more than a decent paring knife and chef’s knife. You only really need to get the fancier knives if you’re getting into some serious cooking (fillet knives, for example, make deboning fish soooo much easier).
I’d also really stay away from cheap knives, unless you want to spend a lot of time sharpening them constantly. They dull quickly, and are more prone to breakage.
You don’t have to spend hundreds of dollars. Just make sure you’re getting decent steel (if they don’t specify what KIND of steel, like SV30 [Expensive Carbon Steel] or 420HC, it can be a sign that its cheap metal. This depends on the seller though), and the Tang goes a good way through the handle.
My personal favorite go to, cheap but decent knives are Tojiro DP, or the MadeIn Cookware knives.
You also don’t necessarily need to sharpen your knives yourself, BUT get a ceramic sharpening rod (it’ll keep the blade sharp for longer).
Most cities will have a store somewhere that you can take your knives to for sharpening. It’s also pretty easy to get started sharpening your own knives as well. SharpeningSupplies.com has some excellent options and tutorials to start.
As far as cutting boards, these matter too! Wooden cutting boards need to be oiled and waxed regularly to maintain them and keep them from splitting.
Plastic cutting boards can get grooves over time that let bacteria percolate.
Try to avoid using Glass cutting boards if you can- they’ll dull knives faster.
It’s happened! The first Blaze post has haunted my dash, and it’s the fucking 95 theses.
When I say hellsite (affectionate) this wasn’t the context I was thinking
you wanna know something even funnier? the metrics report i got on the post at the end of the weekend showed absolutely garbage engagement. the post that inspired me to do it got thousands of notes. the post where i said i was going to do it got several hundred as my followers and mutuals cheered me on.
the post i paid an entire crisp and refreshing hamilton for got blasted out to more than 13 thousand dashboards… and then netted exactly 92 reblogs, because it’s a genuinely awful post and no one sane wanted to touch it. it’s a total flop… except this is like the fourth or fifth post i’ve seen about it.
i love this stupid website so much.
it’s so hilarious that we’ve all accepted that when you buy a blaze post you’re not paying for exposure or notes or even advertising
it’s more like performance art
we’re just paying to annoy people and then talk about it
Wait, we can pay to do that? I thought we were already doing that without shelling bills.
I just had to explain what I was cackling at to my roommate. It automatically passes the Laugh Rule.
She found her reluctant fiance, Erstad, brooding out on the rainy moors.
“Is that a baby rabbit?” she asked, observing his huddled form.
“IT’S SIX BABY RABBITS AND YOU CAN’T TOUCH THEM,” replied Ernstad, contriving to look twice his usual size and at least three times his usual fierceness.
“Whoah okay damn,” she said, and backed away.
i’d read the gothic romance novel of ernstad and his baby rabbits like right now
This means that Batman, obsessive hoarder of orphans, is the only dark mysterious character that can be accurately described as “brooding”.
Batman is the epitome of brooding, thank you jackironsides for bringing this to our attention
All the weird misinterpretations and revisions of Russian history aside, Anastasia is one of my favourite movies because its plot structure is so fucking weird
It’s a period piece romance. That’s cool, that’s all well and good, except that on the sidelines there’s an undead warlock who’s trying so hard to kill the protagonist, but all in ways that the protagonist either doesn’t notice or doesn’t accept as supernatural
And it isn’t a twist! The audience knows about the warlock! The warlock has a villain song! The warlock is one of the principal characters! But the protagonist spends 95% of the movie completely unaware of the warlock, and just spends the entirety of the movie doing period piece romance things while being repeatedly inconvenienced by the warlock until the climax, when the protagonist has to very suddenly
Acknowledge the existence of the warlock
Acknowledge the existence of the supernatural
See some real-ass goddamn magic
Kill the warlock
I have never seen a movie with a plot structure like this before, and I don’t think I’ll see one like it ever again. It’s like an adaptation of Pride and Prejudice that turns Lady Catherine into a vampire who’s just repeatedly trying to drink Lizzy’s blood, but Lizzy doesn’t even notice until the climax whereupon she stuffs Lady Catherine’s mouth with garlic and cuts off her head (an adaptation I would kill to see, by the way). There are two completely different genres playing out at the same time, and one of them is trying to kill the other
Anyways that’s why the stage musical is bad, thank you and good night
The only thing I’m adding to this is that Disney’s Hercules has almost the same hero-villain dynamic in that the protagonist and antagonist think they are the heroes of two wildly different stories, and the protagonist doesn’t really know the antagonist exists until the endgame starts. It’s so fucking bizarre. They also both came out in 1997, and feature a red-headed protagonist who starts the story trying to find out who their parents are and falls in love with a shady brunette with dubious intentions who winds up trying to sacrifice themselves so the protagonist can live/be happy. I dunno what this means, but coincidence? I think NOT!
Listen that was just the vibe of 97 alright some shit went down that year
Also, the warlock’s Villain Song slaps.
He’s also got the weirdly hot for an undead body aesthetic going on. Though it could just be his voice.
I also love the dynamic between him and his minion, Bartok. The bat had a point.
Superman is like. outwardly identical to a human but are his Internals the same as a human?? what’s the situation there. i think it would be very funny if his insides were totally different personally.
like it’s just as well he’s invulnerable bcos if he ever had to go to a doctor it would be a disaster. what if one time he did manage to get hurt while doing superhero stuff & they had to take chest x-rays… he’s just sitting there poker-faced while the doctors try to figure out what they’re even looking at
Doctor: …
Superman: …
Doctor: so uh this is…?
Superman: my liver
Superman: well it’s not actually a liver but it does basically the same thing as a human liver so I call it my liver
Doctor: okay
Doctor: and this one?
Superman: best as I can tell that doesn’t do anything
Doctor: huh. And uh. This thing over here?
Superman: heck if I know ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
Doctor:
*later*
*there are now like 7 doctors gathered around his x-rays*
Superman: uh guys I’m sure this must be really interesting for you but could we focus on the matter at hand please
Oh man do I have good news for you, so dc released a book called anatomy of metahumans and in it they reveal the anatomy of our boy Clark, just so you can have an idea here are some screenshots showing Clark’s internal organs:
So, yes, Clark is really fucked up inside thanks for coming to my Ted talk
oh i am DELIGHTED to learn that this is canon
So what you’re telling me is if Clark Kent went to the doctor as a kid, Ma Kent absolutely made threats against lives if the told anyone about her boy.
That or she and Pa Kent forged vaccination and doctor’s visit documents for him.
I went through this guy’s whole page to find this tiktok because relevant
I vote his vaccine records are fake but he feels really bad about it
He can’t be vaccinated, they wouldn’t be able to get a needle through his skin.
On the one hand, it’s good he can’t get sick. On the other… What the heck is he doing for COVID? Zipping around the planet helping with earthquakes and landslides and shit is gonna be a hell of a transmission vector, just on his supersuit and hands and casual exposure and all that. He might not get sick but he can pass it on in other ways.
Three suits. He can change out to minimize exposure.
Responsible social distancing, of course. And perhaps encouraging people that because he physically cannot get vaccinated, they should remember others who can’t get vaccinated, like babies and immunocompromised people, and vaccinate themselves. And it works because who wants to say they were the person who gave Covid to SUPERMAN?
Imagine for a second some Z-list JL member talking about being unvaccinated and getting Superman’s Disappointed Face while he shows them pictures of Ma and Pa Kent and explains how scared he is of inadvertently transmitting something to them, and how he can’t get vaccinated even though he’d love to. Just imagine the guilt. The absolute guilt.
(Batman grunts in an irritated manner in the background and continues trying to work out how to coat a syringe in enough kryptonite to get through the skin, but not enough to cause lasting effects.)
Isn’t there a Nasal flu vaccine?
Batman would more likely just spend a fortune trying to figure out how to aerolise different vaccines and retain their efficacy.
at the gym telling everyone the weights would be easier to lift if we all work together
So it was your fault
can’t help it if i’ve turned la fitness into a syndicalist commune
…does that mean there’s a self-important guy on the pull-up bars a few rows down, named Arthur, yelling about coconuts, with another guy pushing him up by the waist because he can’t actually lift bro?
